Yes, making love. You read that right. In Colorado.
Sounds juicy, right?
It was. (see pics below)
As you might have guessed, I recently returned from a vacation to one of my favorite places. I have been there before, many years ago on a skiing vacation. And I’d been yearning to go back again for several years.
I love skiing. Since my first time on a mountain in the Poconos at 16, I was hooked. It has become one of my greatest loves. Coupled with my love of snow (the more, the better), my love of skiing feels sacred to me. Joyful. Playful. Exciting. Embodied. Triumphant, because I’m on top of the world in the cold sunshine surrounded by brilliant winter and the glorious beauty of trees. On top again and again and again. Me and the mountain under heaven. Holy Trinity.
Somehow, my inner circle has become filled with non-skiers (gasp!). Therefore, I visited the mountain less and less over the years. Each winter, I found myself saying, “Next year, I am going!” And for quite a few years, next year kept getting bumped to next year.
There always seemed to be one reason or another to keep me from going back to the mountain. Busy schedules. My son’s school or sports activities. Money obligations. Business activities. Fatigue from untreated and undiagnosed anemia. Job changes. Waiting for someone else to go or come with me. Serious health issues of a family member. Heartbreak. Guilt at the thought of putting myself first. Fear of going it alone. Acceptance of unmet needs and desires. Resistance to giving up control at home (even for just a week).
Woah. How’s that for insight into the myriad of excuses we can use to convince ourselves to deny ourselves what we really and truly desire? What feeds our soul? Our mind, body and spirit? Dare I say it – what we need!
What bullshit. Ha!
A longing began to build as I became more truthful with myself about what I love doing, being, having, experiencing. Again and again, my guidance during communion in prayer with the Divine kept asking me, “What part of you are you ignoring? What part of you is too concerned with pleasing other people so much that you don’t hear or heed your own desires and dreams? Go follow your passions. Do what excites your spirit! Your needs matter, too!”
It’s funny how many times we can hear something before we actually stop and listen. Listen without our own projections. Listen without skewing the answers through our want and expectations. Listen without the shoulds. Listen without the filters of our cultural man-made rules. Listen without judgements filled with every emotion or perspective that is not love, not self-love.
I am a strong woman. Yet, all of my chosen thoughts and beliefs around skiing, positioned as truth, as priorities, all chosen and freely accepted by me, completely rendered me less in power (powerless).
Whatever renders you powerless is not love. (Sexy tweet)
So funny (not!) how we so easily can slip into ruts of thinking that somehow become cages we live within in our lives. We accept a specific thought or limitation at a specific time in our lives, one that may be just right at that time that is completely wrong for us the rest of the time.
We forget to ask the key questions every day. What would bring me joy today? What can I do, be, have, plan, create, or allow myself to know or feel today that will bring me joy? How can I make love today? Make love in my life? My work? My relationships? My seasons?
Making love brings me joy! (Sexy tweet)
And skiing for me is making love. It brings me joy. And that became a gift I had to give myself. Joy!
Right now, I hope you are thinking about that thing you wish to bring into your life that you keep putting off until that unknown when in the future.
I will do it when…
When this happens, I will…
When I have extra money, I will go do that…
When is now. Make love now. Your joy needs no permission other than your own.
How to make it happen despite resistance and pushback – and (the biggie for so many) fear?
Commitment. Commitment to making it happen. Make your joy a priority among all other priorities and feel free to put it first (obviously, this doesn’t mean that you don’t meet family and financial obligations like food and rent or medical needs…). Jump in and commit. For instance, I pre-paid one non-refundable night at the lodge and paid for a non-refundable flight to Denver. A small thing but when your joy is attached to it, the committed action then acts as a catalyst pulling you forward towards your joy. And remember, you want this thing to happen.
Then I made any “extra money” resistance a mute point by taking on a bit of extra work that was separate from my business services, work that specifically created cash earmarked as “trip money only.” I told myself that this money was for my joy. Just for me. I generated the inflow separately with that intention. No guilt. No conflicts. No other purpose than skiing in Colorado. Full focus on my goal. Which made the extra work worth the time and effort. And I reached my financial goal in just seven weeks. Yes, seven. To ski in one of the most beautiful luxe ski towns in Colorado. Because I am so worth that!
Incidentally, I also decided to go alone. Yes, alone in my super cozy room that slept four. This trip was about skiing. About the mountain. About snow and winter beauty. My non-skier inner circle wasn’t invited. Because that would change the vibe, which would change my joy. And I had the most incredible time! Talking to people I didn’t know. Enjoying my own company. Skiing at one of the most beautiful places in Colorado. Eating when I was hungry. Sleeping when I was tired. Watching snow fall from my balcony. Real fires in the fireplace. Relaxing and soaking in my joy! (think bubble baths and hot tubs, mmmhmm)
And I am going back again to make love on the mountains in Colorado next year! (though I may not be alone next year as being in my joy is attracting skiers into my inner circle! ha!)
What joy have you been saying no to for what seems like forever?
What or who are you waiting for?!
Choose your joy! xo
© 2017 Kelly A. Connor
All rights reserved.